Rehearsal.  Band practice.  Senseless mockery of other people’s souls and spirits.  Whatever label you want to give it, a band can only perform songs well in a live setting if they’ve gone through them together beforehand, and FlashMob! is no different.

Have you ever wondered what happens in a typical band practice for your favorite cover band?  Here are some statistics as to what generally transpires in a FlashMob! rehearsal.

• 17 : Number of emails it takes to hammer out a practice schedule, as most of the band refuses to use the Google calendar set up for this purpose
• 3 : Number of minutes into practice before Kyle starts sweating
• 2 : Number of times Pete is reminded he doesn’t really have a say in what happens in the band.
• 100 : Percent of a new song each band member is expected to know for the first run through
• 17 : Percent of a new song that Josh says he knows
• 79 : Percent of any song in the FM! catalog that Josh actually knows
• 20 : Percent of rehearsal time actually spent practicing songs
• 4 : Main topics discussed during practice (1. What Pete is wearing, 2. Who farted/made that smell?, 3. Why doesn’t anyone know their parts?, 4. How the song is actually supposed to be played)
• 3 : Number of times the band has to physically stop Ian from screwing around on the keyboard so we can continue practicing
• 4 : Number of times Kyle incorrectly says, “Nailed it!” or plays the “buh dum, ching!” sound when he thinks something is funny
• 30 : Average number of minutes Pete is early for practice
• 22 : Average number of minutes the band actually starts rehearsal after the time it was supposed to start
• 2 : Number of Pete’s amazing ideas that Joe shoots down
• 6 : Number of minutes later that Joe brings up Pete’s shot down idea as his own
• 100 : Percent of time that Kyle spends thinking about cheese
• 100 : Percent of times that Jamie has brought food for the band
• 238 : Number of times Ian checks his phone
• 8 : Number of Jameson cocktails consumed
• 76 : Number of times a band member physically smacks their microphone because their channel on the board stopped working, and that seems to make it work again
• 3 : Number of times a hatred of Jessie’s Girl is brought up
• 2 : Average number of practices a month
• 17,000 : Number of practices a month when bringing on a new singer (at least that’s what it feels like)
• 3-4 : Number of new songs worked on in practice
• 2 : Number of breaks taken during practice to mix new cocktails
• 3 : Average number of hours spent in practice
• 3 : Number of times the band points out just how short Jamie is compared to the rest of them
• 4 : Number of times a song is run though before it’s declared show ready
• 6 : Number of hugs (one to each band member) that Joe’s oldest daughter hands out at bedtime

And there you have it, a recipe for a successful cover band.  And to think, you probably thought it was all just talent, hard work, and dedication, huh?

Hugs and kisses,

Your friends at FlashMob! central.